Does someone smell a rotting onion? Company experts fire back.

 The Script (edited to remove company identifying information):

Setting:  Official video talk show looking environment:  
Cast: A comedic host, 3 experts from the company

Host: We are happy to have a distinguished panel with us here today , the top experts from "the company", and the Onion.  (introduce them and provide impressive credentials)  And here’s the Onion.  It has appeared recently in a bowl of soup and a garden salad.  From Wikipedia, it has a pungent and irritating taste.  It is also known for making people cry.  Some say it can even heal bee stings but that has yet to be proven. ::sniff sniff:: do you need a bio break onion?

It came to my attention that the onion had a few stinky words about the Company Product and want to understand what all this is about. 

We were particularly interested in the onion’s understanding of what this sophisticated technology solution is, and what it offers.  What is your understanding onion?  (cut to onion who is silent)

We also did some interviews with other experts (have a video asking some children in a school what is the product – most of them know you will be able to get some solid responses)

Do you - the Onion - have any credentials in science or technology?
Cut to onion who is silent.

Are any of our experts aware of the onions contribution to science or technology?

Company expert 1:  Why yes.  The onion has abnormally large cells and is used to teach microscope use.
Company expert 2:  If I may clarify for my colleague, the onion is not the scientific intelligence of the dissection, but rather the subject.
Host: So no real experience?

Cut to Onion - silent
Cut to Company expert 3 his eyes are tearing.

Host:  Since storage means nothing more to the Onion than a mesh bag in a dry space, we understand the lack of expertise in this area and hope to provide our viewers and the Onion with some basic technical knowledge to educate you as to why the this technology is more than a buzzword and is vitally important to the future. 

I will call on our Company Experts to provide insight.

Expert 1:  Let’s pretend all you onions are sitting on a counter for a long time.  Moisture sets in and environmental conditions cause you to grow green sprouts.  Eventually you rot and die.  Not good..

Expert 2: XXXX (company identifying information using onion terms to describe the solution)

Expert 3:  If there were a way to absorb the moisture breeding bacteria for you and keep you healthy and edible, wouldn’t you want to take advantage of that technology?

Expert 1: XXX (more company identifying information and solution description)
Experts get more compelling and technical while checking in with the onion who just sits there.

Host: There you have it.  A simple solution to a very complex problem clear enough even to the Onion.  Any way you slice it (while cutting the onion), this solution is the right solution (hidden company identifying information). 

Host: Thanks for joining us today to understand and celebrate the technical contribution of the Onion. For more information on Company Solution visit us at the link below.

Host and experts sit down for a bowl of onion soup.

No comments:

Post a Comment